It’s estimated that mental illnesses affect more than one in five women during pregnancy and the first year after childbirth, which is also known as the perinatal period. Issues can include anxiety disorders, depression and postnatal psychotic disorders.
The way you’re feeling now – especially when your baby is still doing somersaults in your womb instead of being cradled in your arms – is completely normal. So normal, in fact, it’s shared by just about every mum-to-be at some point in pregnancy.
It’s normal to feel anxious about becoming a parent
It’s a normal human emotion to be worried or scared about things that are unknown to us, and in fact shows what a great parent you will be. It’s a worry that affects everyone, even those in stable relationships, those who are emotionally and financially secure. Most people never truly feel “ready” and have many fears, but it has no bearing whatsoever on the kind of parent you will be or how you will adapt to your new life with a baby.
A lot of people feel terrified when they find out they are pregnant. It’s a completely natural way to feel. Talking to friends and relatives may help with this, and if you do become pregnant don’t hesitate to confide in your midwife or doctor, but know you are very much not alone in feeling this way.
I am feeling really unhappy
If you’re feeling confused or unhappy, talk to someone you trust about your feelings. You can also speak to your GP or midwife about a referral to a counsellor – it’s helpful to share your concerns and talk things through.
There are a range of people who can support you if you’re finding things challenging.
Try to be as open as you can with your family and friends about what you’re going through. Support from family and friends can benefit many women who are experiencing difficulties before or after the birth of a child. For some people, this extra practical or emotional support is enough to set them on the road to recovery.
If you’ve been seeing a midwife during pregnancy and/or a maternal and child health nurse after the birth, they’re a good place to start. As well as providing practical support and advice about feeding, sleep and child development, they can help you work out if what you’re going through suggests you may have a mental health condition.
Talking things through with your GP can also be a useful initial step. They can assess your overall health and wellbeing, make a diagnosis and either provide continuing treatment or refer you to a mental health specialist, such as a psychologist.
Try and be as open and honest as possible about how you’re feeling and what’s going on. Ask plenty of questions and make sure you get clarification on anything you’re not sure about. If you feel that your needs aren’t being met, don’t give up. It can take time to find someone who you can talk comfortably with.
Becoming a new parent can be one of the most stressful things you will experience. Finding ways to look after yourself that fit in with your lifestyle and needs can make a big difference to your mental health and wellbeing.
You can experience any kind of mental health problems during and after pregnancy, but there are some that are particularly common or are specifically linked to pregnancy and childbirth.
Expand your support network
Get talking to other new parents, you will find you are not alone in how you are feeling, many new parents will share the anxieties and frustrations you are experiencing. It can also give you a chance to share skills and experiences, help you realise that you are not alone and make new friends, above all, give you some emotional and practical support.
Things you can do to expand your support network:
Coping with daily tasks
Coping with household tasks as well as looking after a new baby is a challenge for anyone. Finding some ways to help you to manage them day-to-day can help take the pressure off and make you feel more able to cope.
Taking time for you
Finding time to think about yourself while looking after your baby may feel like a big challenge, but by making small changes, you can find ways to take time to look after you.
As a family member or friend you may want to support someone experiencing a perinatal mental health problem. It may be difficult, upsetting and frustrating to live with, or be close to, someone who is experiencing a perinatal mental health problem – but it’s important not to blame them for how they are feeling.
Some people who experience perinatal mental health problems may be reluctant to ask for help, out of fear that they might be judged as a bad parent or that it will result in their baby being taken away from them.
It can be really important for you to reassure them that many people have these experiences, and that they can get better.
Make time for them
You might worry that you’re intruding or think that your loved one might not feel able or ready to ask for your help and support, this is normal to feel this way – but it’s always worth offering your support to show that you care.
Some tips to help you make time for them:
It takes time for new parents to adjust - so be patient
Practical things you can do to help
The best way to find out what they need is to ask them. However, they may feel very low and might find it difficult to make suggestions. You might want to offer to:
Supporting them to get help
Asking for help can be a very difficult thing to do, and even more so if you’re worried that you might be judged as a bad parent.
Light – pre and post natal support
Tel: 0114 438 8962 between 9am–4.30pm, Monday to Friday
contactus@lightpeersupport.org.uk
Light raises awareness and offers support to families experiencing perinatal mental illness whilst being pregnant or after giving birth, such as postnatal depression and anxiety. It provides peer to peer support, support groups, telephone and email support.
Rotherham & Barnsley Mind
Tel: 01709 919929 between 9am – 4pm, Monday to Friday
Email: contactus@rbmind.co.uk
We are committed to supporting those in need by promoting good mental health and offering high quality support so that no-one feels alone when dealing with mental health problems. Rotherham & Barnsley Mind aims to be inclusive and accessible. They offer a variety of services including one-to-one counselling, group sessions, support for young people, training and services for employers.
Rotherham Perinatal Mental Health Service
Tel: 03000 215209 between 9am-5pm, Monday to Friday
Email: rdash.rotherhamperinatalservice@nhs.net
220 Badsley Moor Lane, Rotherham, S65 2QU
The Rotherham Perinatal Mental Health Service provide support, treatment and a safe space for women experiencing perinatal mental health issues either during their pregnancy or in the first year after childbirth.
RDaSH Crisis Team
0800 652 9571 (calls to this number are FREE)
If you or someone you know has concerns about their immediate health RDaSH Crisis Team can help. One of our trained call handlers will signpost you to the most appropriate service depending on your level of need. This may include your out of hours GP, a voluntary organisation or our access/crisis team.
Hard of hearing? Deaf? For anyone unable to use the standard telephone line, i.e. hard of hearing, there is a text phone service available.
Please text 07974 603610
Perinatal Treatment
The Perinatal Treatment website offers free, evidence-based mental health treatments for new parents. There are videos, online treatments, resources and questionnaires for mums and dads.
Action on Postpartum Psychosis
Tel: 020 33229900
Email: app@app-network.org
Information and peer support service for women and families affected by postpartum psychosis. One to one support is available by messaging online with a trained peer supporter or there is a PPTalk online support forum.
Tommy’s
Office: 020 7398 3400
Pregnancy Line: 0800 0147 800
mailbox@tommys.org
Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm
Tommy’s is a charity funding research into the causes of miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth. Tommy’s provides information for parents-to-be to help them have a healthy pregnancy and baby.
Baby Buddy App is an interactive pregnancy and parenting guide providing trusted, evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents build their knowledge and confidence during the transition to parenthood and throughout the early stages of parenting.
Peanut connects women across fertility and motherhood. Meet, chat and learn from like-minded women.
HealthUnlocked is the world’s largest social network for health. Find and connect with people with a similar health condition. The service has over 700 online communities focused on health and wellbeing topics.
The NHS App gives you a simple and secure way to access a range of NHS services on your smartphone or tablet.
You can use the app if you are aged 13 or over. You must be registered with an NHS GP surgery in England or the Isle of Man. You can also log in through the NHS website on a computer to use NHS App services.
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